7 deadly mistakes men make when their wife cheats

“The 7 Deadly
Mistakes Men
Make When Our
Wife Cheats…”
– Kevin Jackson
Copyright 2010-2012, All Rights Reserved. Kevin Jackson..

“The 7 Deadly Mistakes Men
Make When Our Wife Cheats…”
Hey man,
Listen, I get it.
Your wife cheated on you. And it hurts.
I mean it HURTS.
It hurts like nothing else has ever hurt in your entire life.
I know your pain.
A crazy cocktail of jealousy, rage, shock, loneliness, humiliation, betrayal, revenge, or
devastation… all mixed together.
You probably have crazy and obsessive thoughts running through your mind…
I know how it is because I’ve been through it myself.
My wife ran off with a guy who was supposed to be “just a friend.”
A guy I trusted to be a friend of the marriage…
A guy who lied to me over and over and over…
A guy who was sleeping with my wife right under my nose.
Yeah, I missed the warning signs big time.
And I, like most guys, did things after I found out that made my pain WORSE… and
made my situation even more PAINFUL.
Most of us guys make the same mistakes – but I want to help YOU avoid them.
So here are 7 deadly mistakes even confident men make when their wives cheat…
Mistake #1 BLAMING YOURSELF FOR HER AFFAIR
Many guys get so screwed up in their head when they learn that their wife was
unfaithful… that they do something that just doesn’t make sense.
They blame themselves.
Have you ever caught yourself doing this?
I sure did.
When I found out about my wife’s affair, she turned it around on me and blamed ME
for it… and the sad part was… I got suckered into believing her.
She convinced me if I had only been a “real man” to her, I wouldn’t have pushed her
into the arms of another.
Many guys do what I did, which was to say, “Yep, I can see your point… I guess
you’re right.”
And even if we don’t say it out loud, deep inside we start judging ourselves. We start
thinking we ARE to blame. We COULD have done more.
But going down this mental road is a HUGE mistake.
Why?
I’ll tell you why…
Because it’s simply NOT TRUE.
Yes, you’re responsible for your half of the relationship… and nobody’s perfect… but
you are zero percent responsible for her crossing that final line and cheating.
That’s HER responsibility, not yours.
Even if she tries to turn it around on you.
The good news is… if you are stuck in a cycle of blaming yourself… you CAN get out
of it.
There are specific techniques you can learn that will break this cycle.
Mistake #2: DRIVING YOURSELF CRAZY WITH
JEALOUS THOUGHTS
This is one of the things that almost every guy who has gone through infidelity
suffers from.
We imagine our wife with the other guy.
What they did, physically.
And that drives us NUTS.
The thing to understand… is that this is NATURAL.
It’s ok.
It’s painful… but it’s okay.
No, you’re not going crazy. It’s an expected response for any guy in this situation.
The trick is to not get STUCK with these obsessive thoughts and images.
Don’t be like me – I suffered with them for more than 10 months.
And yes, there are techniques to get rid of these images in your head.
Mistake #3: TALKING ABOUT THE AFFAIR IN THE
WRONG WAY
Most guys dive right in and start bombarding their wife with questions about the
affair:
“What did you guys do, exactly?”
“How many times did you…?”
“You did what? How could you…!!!”
Listen, I get it. You need to get answers. You DESERVE answers.
But if you hound her over and over again – in the wrong way – you know what’s going
to happen?
She’s going to get DEFENSIVE. (If she hasn’t already.)
The fact is, when a woman cheats, it’s almost always a symptom of something else.
And that “something else” is her unhappiness and unmet needs in the marriage.
Maybe she wanted more appreciation from you.
Maybe more attention.
Maybe more “intimacy,” emotional or sexual.
But the bottom line is… you can’t ONLY talk about the affair. You need to also talk
about her unmet needs or else she’s going to clam up like a dog with a bone in it’s
mouth. She’ll never give up.
Balance the two and you’ll have much better luck getting what you want – THE
TRUTH.
Mistake #4: TRYING TO “BE A MAN” ABOUT IT
Some guys, when they hear their wife cheated, try to minimize their feelings.
They try to act like it’s less of a big deal to them than it really is.
Huge mistake.
All this does is create a recipe for you to BLOW UP later… and for some REALLY
serious shit to go down.
Instead, talk to your wife about it. Let her know some of your feelings.
She’ll probably argue that it “wasn’t a big deal” or “I didn’t love him” or “We didn’t
actually have sex” or “It was only once”
She’s saying all those things to try to calm you down.
Don’t believe what she says, but don’t argue with her either.
Tell her you are hurt and you need some time and space to think about how you want
to handle this.
But don’t bottle up all your feelings inside. Like I said, that’s a recipe for disaster.
Mistake #5: THINKING YOUR PAIN WILL LAST
FOREVER
When I found out about my wife’s infidelity, I felt like my pain would never end.
I felt like the rest of my whole life would be fucked up, and that I’d be bitter,
resentful… and emotionally a MESS… forever.
And that was fucking depressing.
It’s natural to FEEL this way… but the truth is… the pain WON’T last forever.
Yes, it’s going to suck for a while – but with the right tools, you will get over your
suffering as quickly as possible… and be back stronger than ever.
Even if you can’t imagine that right now.
Mistake #6: MAKING BIG DECISIONS NOW
Right now, your emotions are all over the place.
You probably can’t focus.
You have those obsessive thoughts and images.
And you can’t believe this happened to you.
With everything that’s going on, it’s obvious that you’re not in a good “state of mind”
to be making big decisions right now.
Like whether to get divorced or not… or move out… or even buy a new car.
The mistake many guys make is acting on their crazy emotions…so they run out,
make big decisions… and then those decision turn out to be SHIT.
They actually make the situation worse… and can quickly get your life spinning out of
control.
It’s ok to have strong feelings and emotions… just don’t ACT on them.
Let things settle down for a month… then see if you still want to do those same
things.
Mistake #7: NOT GETTING HELP
This is probably the biggest mistake of all.
They say that time heals all wounds. But this is one situation where this is DEAD
WRONG.
Here’s why…
If you don’t know how to deal with your emotions, and how to handle things, starting
today…
… you will make things WORSE.
This is true whether you ultimately decide to stay and work on the marriage… or if
you leave… or if your wife has already left.
The sooner you get EDUCATED on what to do RIGHT NOW… the less of a chance
you’re going to screw things up even more than they already are.
I hate to sound like a broken record… but I think you get my point by now.
I don’t want you to suffer any longer than you have to.
That would suck.
Sadly, most guys do suffer more than they need to, because they don’t know there’s a
better way – a FASTER way – to get through this.
The problem is that most of the advice you’ll find on the internet is written for
WOMEN – I’ll explain why a little later – and so it won’t help YOU.
In fact, it may even make things WORSE…
If you want to get control of your situation and get out of your pain as quickly as
possible, with tips tailor made just for us GUYS, you really should check out my oneof-
a-kind eBook, Survive Her Affair: Healing And Dealing When Your Wife Cheats.
I’ll teach you:
– How to erase the images from your mind
– How to get your confidence back
– How to talk about the details with your wife
– How to find out why it happened
– How to decide if you should stay or go (and how to make yourself very attractive to
your wife if you don’t want to lose your marriage)
– and more
You can find out more about how my eBook can help you get out the pain, get more
control in the situation, and avoid making things worse than they already are, by
clicking below:
http://www.soyourwifecheated.com/sl-ar.php
Talk soon,
Kevin Jackson
SoYourWifeCheated.com